April 7, 2013

In the rustle of the bush behind her she found a familiar footprint. Only a few marked the soggy dirt which puzzled her. A small voice echoed from behind and she found herself gazing into the eyes of herself as a six year old. The little girl had all the signs of being young except for her eyes which were wrought with the pain of knowledge. In dreams there are instances when you know certain things without having them explained or having any clues that elude to it. This is an example of that phenomenon. She looked at the girl and knew that she had seen everything that would happen to her. The day she kissed a boy who had the taste of a chocolate protein bar in his mouth, the day her mother passed away after she came home from getting gelato, the day she thought she might die from carrying around all of her experiences in her mind.
There was silence.
And then darkness.
Then I woke up.
There are times when I try to remember my life as it used to be and it's like trying to remember a dream upon waking. My friends recall something that happened in our childhood and it feels as though it happened to a stranger. It can be difficult to decipher whether this memory loss is due to the passing of time or the drinks that I've had or the drugs I have taken or the death of my parents - probably a mixture. Sometimes I wonder if I am getting stuck on that marker in my life and letting it define who I am. I'm probably too self involved and reflecting on this is a form of unhealthy self-obsession.
I should live my life in ignorance and sweep this under the rug.

borealis

sweet soul swept up
pathed to your fingertips
disassemble your breath

in this celestial cosmic voice
i tell you what fills the space
between east and west

there cannot be another whose words
turn into mine
and swallow the ground beneath my feet

we will shout and kiss and sing
lost in something unseen
and unknown