6:30 AM on a Monday

dream about mom
found her on the floor in the living room
passed out
woke her up, she was out of it, loopy
i told her not to worry
we are going to beat this
she pointed to her breast
with this?
blueberries, we will get you some blueberries
and frozen yogurt
there is blood on the floor
i spewed blood when i saw her
let's get you cleaned up and to some frozen yogurt
i bet you we will be here for your fifty-fifth birthday
ok
she said she will pay me back next year for the blueberries
i lead her to a chair by the bathroom so she can sit and wait
she falls against the walls
unable to stay vertical
losing vision
someone is in the bathroom
she has to wait

i looked across the dark ocean
a bright light shining at me
it meanders slowly to the right
always checking on me
sends its search light at me
it's a boat
it's a whale
it's mom
wandering the ocean in the dark hours of the morning
half moon
eerie silence
grandma is watching tv in her room
1940s loud ocean silence mom
she was looking for me